Assalamualaikum

Recently, I was scrolling my facebook. And then, I don't know why I was attracted to one of my teacher's Facebook account. You can say, I'm stalking her at that time. So, I read all her posts, what she shared with her followers and etc. It's very sad I could say. You know that on facebook, they have this kind of memory notification like, "this is your previous 5 years old memories." Facebook will show you the pictures, posts and etc. There was this one post where it has a picture of my teacher with her husband and she made this kind of caption, "Hanya tinggal kenangan..." It's very sad right?! It's so clear that she has some marriage issues right now. And that's not the only evidence that I have, there are lots more but I chose not to said more about it because it hurts me a lot. I love my teacher very much. She's such a sporting, kind-hearted person and she's one of my favorite teachers! Knowing that she had to go through this kind of test from Allah, it makes me sad. 

This kind of situation, crisis, and problem are the most crisis that I hope will never happen in my entire life. I'm still young but I do understand what they would feel even if it maybe not that much. But I had felt that kind of situation in my life. More than little I guess? It just that I'm not married yet. Alhamdulillah HAHAHA... If not, I might live in a great depression ever in my life! I always cry in the middle of the night, thinking about ... my future. I always live in a state of worries about my future. How my marriage life, can I be a successful woman, would I get my dream person and etc. But I always remind myself that everything had been planned by Allah and it just ourselves that need to believe in him. Tawakkal and believe Him 100%. 

Marriage is something beautiful and of course, I do want to get married. My feelings to get married would be 'membuak-buak' when I see our celebrities married couples like Wawa Zainal and Aeril Zafrel. They are so sweet right?! Not just celebrities but also my own lecturer! HAHAHA. It just happened yesterday you know, that kind of feeling, want to get married. LOL! But today, I faced the truth of marriage. It's not the first time I heard about all this. Being cheated, the husband married someone else secretly, abused by husband, husband rogol his own daughter. Argh, it breaks my heart a lot. 

I love to share all of these things because I hope that people would be careful to choose their partner in life. And yes, we might not know their true color before we marry that person, that's why you need to perform istikharah. Ask help from Allah and always pray from him to give you the best husband/wife in your life that will always be with you through your ups and downs. Will love you forever, loyal, responsible and most importantly can bring you to Jannah! 

However, if in your life, suddenly Allah tests you with this kind of crisis,  please ask help from Allah also. Protect your marriage, but if it still cannot be solved, divorce in a good way. Ask help from Mahkamah Shariah or ... Alamak, aku lupa badan apa 😅 I watched this video, ada ustaz ni ckp kalau kau masih sayangkan perkahwinan ini, boleh pergi dekat satu jabatan ni untuk dapatkan nasihat. Tapi kalau memang dah muktamad nak bercerai, boleh tuntut cerai di mahkamah syariah. Kalau aku tersilap cakap, please betulkan dekat ruangan comment. 🤪

I just want to say something. I'm not against polygamy. I had learned about it and I know the benefits and also what if that man not responsible and Adil in his marriage life. But, I don't think that I can have a 'madu' in my life. I am a very jealous person. And I can't share the thing that I love the most which is my husband with someone else. Some girls can deal with this polygamy, tapi aku tak kuat. If only you know what I had gone through in my life... Macam mana aku kutip hati aku yg rabak tiap kali realiti itu tiba. So yeah! To my future husband, I hope you're not going to menduakan I forever in your life. Because I would be super sad and might get depressed and our married life would be even worse. HAHA. no, I'm serious. 

That's all for today. Actually, I would like to make a comeback with a story about what I had gone through for this first semester. But yeah. This kind of thing gets me emotional! And just like I told you, I need to be emotional to write so that you will feel what I feel! HAHA. Okay bye. See you guys again in the next entry. Mmuahh 😘